Noodle Boy is a nickname my son had when he was a tiny guy and I started this blog. His nickname changes all the time. (Don't worry, we keep his real name the same.) He is completely awesome. Read on and see for yourself!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Cheetahs (Jon's 15-month well-child exam)

It's a quiet afternoon on the African plains and the mother cheetah and her cub are resting laziliy in the sun. (Jon is tossing magazines all over the floor of the waiting room.)
A redhaired hyaena approaches the cheetahs and lures them into a secluded area of the savannah with polite cackles and friendly grins. (A nurse in pink scrubs calls us back to the exam room.)
The cheetah cub plays quietly while his mother surveys their surroundings. She has a sense that something unexpected is about to happen, there was something unsettling about the redhaired hyaena that she just couldn't place yet. (The nurse hints that there might be some shots today that we weren't planning on.)
Another hyaena, a male, approaches the mother cheetah with more grinning and cackling, chattering and pawing at her cub. (The doctor enters, shakes my hand and gives Jon a high-five)
Her fur bristles as her cub resists the mangey creature's advances. (Jon is less than thrilled about the ear-nose-throat part of the exam and is embarassingly vocal about it.)
The redhaired hyaena has now put herself between the mother cheetah and cub, not a safe place for any creature. (It's time for the afore mentioned shots)
The hyaenas suddenly attack the cub, restaining his limbs and are now jabbing their claws into his chubby cub thighs! (Three shots, very quick, Snoopy band-aids.)
Not wasting a moment the mother cheetah springs forward, sinking her teeth into the back of red's neck and gives her a hearty shaking while she knocks the male through the air as if he were a mere insect being flicked off her paw! The mother cheetah spits out old red like a bad taste from her mouth and flees with her cub, who is relatively unscathed. (Jon quits crying before he even gets his pants back on and I don't really attack anybody. It's just more fun to pretend it was the cheetah version.)