Noodle Boy is a nickname my son had when he was a tiny guy and I started this blog. His nickname changes all the time. (Don't worry, we keep his real name the same.) He is completely awesome. Read on and see for yourself!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

An Adventure

I don't work on Tuesdays or Fridays, so we usually spend those days either running errands or doing chores at home. I was planning on this past Friday being a chore day because there was a ton of laundry to do, but Jon had other ideas.

"Mom, is this a daycare day or a stay home day?"

"Stay home day. We need to do laundry."

"Laundry again?! Oh no, no NO! I can't do laundry again! I do that every day! I just give up!" And he flopped over on the floor and rolled back and forth moaning, "Noooooo, not the laundreeeee. Ooooohhhhh noooooo."

This was more drama than I was prepared for, particularly since it was 6:15 in the morning and we had only been out of bed about three minutes.

"Hey, how 'bout we worry about breakfast first and then we'll figure out what we're going to do with our day? Would that be ok? Mommy really needs a Coke."

He very reluctantly gave up the moaning and we headed to the kitchen.

"Mom, I need some eggs before our adventure. And a smoovie." (smoothie)

"Our adventure?"

"Yeah. You know, when we go somewhere today? Our ad-venture. It's gonna be a GOOD one."

Looks like laundry's out for the day.

The good thing about Jon is that adventure is easy to come by. Just throw a little enthusiasm his way and he'll have a great time. And I'm GREAT at enthusiasm.

The first stop on our adventure was at city hall to get our pool pass for the summer.

"What we doing here, Mom?"

"We're going to get our pool pass."

"Oh my goodness! I've never even been in here before! What IS this place?"

"City Hall..." Using a hushed voice and raising my eyebrows made it mysteeeeerious.

"City Hall?! Are you kidding me? Look at all those papers on that bulletin board! This place is amazing!"

"I know it! Just wait till you see where we're going next." This brought a round of anticipatory giggling that was fantastic.

"Where is it? WHERE IS IT?!"

"We're going to the bank, and we're going to use a secret door. AND, we're going to walk there."

"We're not even taking the Tahoe? That's silly! Let's go!"

The bank is less than a block from City Hall, it would have been silly if had taken the Tahoe. And the "secret door"? Well, the school administration office is in the same building as the bank, you just hang a right instead of a left. I had to drop off a sweatshirt I borrowed from a friend who works there. Jon's been there a dozen times. But we've never referred to the door as a "secret door", so you know, now it's an adventure.

"Oh, MOM. There's birdhouses here-inside! And there's candy in that bowl! Do you think it's for boys?" He asked in that not very quiet kid-whisper.

"Yes, they knew you were coming." They really didn't. His eyes bugged out of his head. It was awesome.

"That's amazing!"

Next stop on our adventure was Orscheln (a farm and home store), which is about 20 minutes away. Instead of taking the usual beaten path we went the "sneaky way" which involved a few gravel roads and winding through a couple of new neighborhoods.

Jon always loves a trip to Orscheln. There's all kinds of outdoorsy stuff, farm toys, and a variety of dangerous items for him to get a hold of and give me a heart attack with-insecticide, cattle prods, live animal traps, etc.

"Mom look! A pirate face!" That would be the symbol for "poison" on some rat killer. Good find.

You know the Loud Mom Voice came out, right?

"HEY HOW 'BOUT WE DON'T PLAY WITH THE POISON TODAY, OK? THE PIRATE FACE MEANS POISON. LET'S NOT TOUCH POISON." How do kids not die here? "COME WITH ME THERE'S ONE MORE SURPRISE-AWAY FROM THE POISON."

The next part actually was kind of a fun little adventure. Every spring they have baby ducks and chicks and bunnies at Orscheln. Jon went crazy when he saw all that fluff!

"MOM! They got baby chickens and ducks and BUNNIES here! LOOK! Them guys eat grape nuts! Hey, tell that guy not to sleep in the cereal bowl! That one's pooping! Right in his drink! DON'T POOP IN YOUR DRINK, CHICKY!"

Luckily the store was pretty vacant at 11:30 on a Friday morning so nobody heard him going out of his tiny little head over the fluffies. After about 10 more minutes of squealing I convinced him that the fluffies needed to take naps so we headed out. We had to stop and spin every single garden pinwheel decoration in the store on the way out, but he was going without a fight so I was more than happy to wait.

On the way home, right before his little eyes fluttered shut he said, "Mom, this was a great adventure."

I thought so too.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Pirates

Greetings from the pirate ship, a.k.a. my couch.

I am getting over mono, so we've been on the couch a lot lately. Today Jon decided maybe it should be a pirate ship.

Off came the cushions, which became the port side of the ship and the end table and lamp are the mast. The Buddies are of course part of the crew. And I'm not sure why, but we have a ride-on firetruck on board making it pretty close quarters.

The Captain is pretty bossy, if I were one of those Buddies I would stage a mutiny.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you that, being on a pirate ship, we are looking for treasure. To my knowledge, the Captain has never seen any of the Austin Powers movies, but for some reason he keep saying "GOOOOOLD" the way Goldmember does and it concerns me a little.

I am apparently the worst first mate ever because I can't seem to drive this ship the right way and the Captain has yanked the pretend steering wheel out of my hands and steering us toward an island. And making race car sounds.

"This is a fast ship, Mom. You're not making fast enough sounds. I will do the driving, give me that steering wheel."

Upon arrival at our destination I received orders to drop the anchor, which I also did wrong.

"Ok, here goes the anchor! Splash."

"Wrong side, Mom. The anchor goes on this side."

"Oh, sorry, Captain. Splash."

"You didn't take it out of the other side yet, Mom." He is clearly disgusted. "You have to pull it up first from in the water."

Geez Louise, Captain. I corrected my anchor error and was given orders to stay with the ship while the Captain went out searching for GOOOOOLD. Which was fine by me because there was a mermaid holding up a TV not far from the ship and I was watching Cooking Channel.

When the Captain returned he did indeed have some gold. Somehow the Captain talked his dad into handing over his wedding band, because apparently we are just throwing those things around willy-nilly at our place these days.

"Hey, where'd you get that ring, Captain?"

"It's not a ring. It's my gold."

"Where'd you get that gold, Captain?"

"From my Papa. He gived it to me. It's my treasure," as he tosses it from hand to hand. Over the gaping crack in the couch that is wide open because there are no cushions on it and a 35 pound pirate is bouncing up and down.

"DAVE. COME GET THIS RING BEFORE THE COUCH SWALLOWS IT." Like it's going to be that easy.

"Jon, can I have my ring back?"

"I'm the Captain."

"Captain, can I have my ring back?"

"Never. It's my treasure." This made me laugh hysterically, which did not help the situation at all.

"I need that back, it's my wedding ring. Me and Mom have those because we're married and we need to wear them." Good call ding-dong, maybe leave it on next time.

"Nope, I'm married now Matey, and this is my TRRRREASURRRRRE!" And he hooked his arm around my neck, claiming me as well, I guess.

They went back and forth like this for quite awhile and finally Jon won. Dave retreated to the basement and I was left with a triumphant Captain and crew, who all got to try on the ring.


As of now, we are still sailing on the open sea. And the Captain just took my remote.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Boys are gross.

The other day Jon and I were doing some super cleaning. The move the furniture and sweep things that never see daylight kind of cleaning. It was kind of a big deal.

So I moved the couch out away from the wall to clean behind it and I noticed some little teeny specks on the end of the radiator that sticks out from behind the couch.

At first I thought maybe it was one of those situations where a little cloud of gnats finds some place to hang out together, then they all die in one place and there's gnat carnage sitting in a teeny pile in your house. Which happens by the fruit bowl in the summer at our house all the time. I hate it. I'm a big fan of tidiness, and to me bugs are sort of anti-tidy. I was assuming that a snack or maybe some juice had made it's way behind the couch and that's why that gnats were there.

Sadly though, upon further inspection, I discovered it wasn't a gnat-pile after all. I had a pretty good hunch as to what it was, but I thought I'd double check with Jon just in case I was mistaken.

I very casually asked Jon if he had any idea what was on the radiator.

"Hey,Booper? Do you know what this stuff is on the radiator behind the couch?"

"Oh, I don't know. I think it's just something that floated up from the erf."(earth)

"Really? Because they sort of look like boogers. Are you sometimes putting boogers back here?" I'm trying to be super-cool, no Loud Mom Voice here. Nothing makes a kid clam up like an angry mom.

And a very nonchalant Jon replies, "Oh,yeah. Sometimes when I watch TV I put my boogers there!"

"Oh. How come, Jon?"

"BECAUSE. That's where I keep my BOOGERS, Mom."

And there you have it. That's where he keeps his boogers, folks.

We had a quick rundown of all the places he could put boogers, which only included tissues and toilet paper if the tissues were gone. Here's hoping I don't run into any more collections.