Jon sweats like no other kid I have ever seen. His head is sweaty, his armpits are sweaty, the backs of his knees are sweaty, it's gross.
And his FEET! His feet are the worst! He has pickle feet! When he takes off his socks and shoes and gets those big white clammy stinkers out it's just awful. His older sister had pickle feet when she was little too, I used to make her put her socks and shoes in the trunk and rinse her feet off before she got in the car after soccer practice. Fortunately the elder pickle footed child has outgrown her grossness and smells lovely most of the time. I think we have a long road ahead of us with the younger set of pickle feet, though.
So apparently, the sweaty grossness of his feet has started making his little toes peel.
"Oh no, Mom, my skin comed off my toes," he told me. "Look at these. This skin is peewing off of them. Why's it doing that?" Somehow he can get his foot two inches away from his face for inspection.
"I think your sweaty little feet are getting too hot in your shoes and it's making your skin peel a little. Or maybe it's athlete's foot." Now the offending pickle foot is two inches away from my face for inspection. Yuck.
"What's a af-lete?"
"Somebody who does sports, like a football player, or a swimmer, or a hockey player is an athlete. Get that stinky thing out of my face."
"Oh, sorry. Why do their toes come off? Do they not like toes?"
"Athlete's have toes, honey. Athlete's foot is kind of like a rash where your skin gets peely on your feet. Your toes are not going to peel all the way off."
"Banana peels come all the way off."
"Yes. They do. But your toes won't."
"OK, good. Can I have a banana?"
"Is it going to hurt when my toes come off?"
"Jon. Your toes aren't going to peel off."
"Oh right, just bananas."
"HEY DAD," he yelled into the next room, "I GOT SPORTS ON MY TOES. BUT THEY WON'T COME OFF, SO DON'T WORRY. JUST BANANAS DO THAT."
"Well that's good, Honey," was his dad's reply.
What else could he say to something like that?