"MOM!!!! I CAN'T FIND MY TESTICLES!....Wait....there they are...NEVER MIND!"
Random lady at Casey's: "Oh Honey, you shouldn't put your hands in your mouth, they're dirty. You'll get germs."
Jon: "That's ok, my mom puts soap in my mouth when I say naughty words, so it gets cleaned out a lot."
J: "Mom, why is that puffy raccoon sleeping in the road?"
M: "Well, I think he got hit by a car and now he's not alive anymore."
J: "Oh. I bet he didn't like that very much."
J: "We didn't have snacks at Sunday School today."
M: "Well we don't go to Sunday School just to have snacks. We go to learn about God."
J: "I know that, Mom, I learned about God. But God doesn't just love people you know. He also loves SNACKS."
J: "Mom, why's it called 'mooning'?"
M: "Because your buns are big and white and round like the moon."
J: "Not my buns. My buns are golden."