Noodle Boy is a nickname my son had when he was a tiny guy and I started this blog. His nickname changes all the time. (Don't worry, we keep his real name the same.) He is completely awesome. Read on and see for yourself!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

What Jon Said

Me to some random driver:"Nice turning signal, Jackass!"
Jon: "MOM, we don't say 'Jackass.' Next time, take a deep breath and think of a different word to say. BREATHE AND THINK when you're mad."
Me:"Hey! It's not okay for you to say 'Jackass', even if you're telling me it's not nice."
Jon: "See it happened again, I don't think you breathed and thinked, Mom."

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Jon using the Loud Kid Whisper at church: "Mom, who frows up on these cushions?"
Me: "What?!"
Jon: "These cushion...who frows up on them?"
Me: "What are you talking about?"
Jon: "You said not to put my shoes on the Puke Cushions. Do people puke at church?"
Me: "PEW cushions. This bench is called a PEW and this is the cushion that goes on it. Pew cushion, not puke cushion."

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Me: "Hey buddy, that's not a very good choice. We've talked about this before. I almost dropped this whole plate of hamburgers when you jumped out and scared me."
Jon: "Sorry, Mom."
Me: "Stop laughing! I'm being serious! What if I had dropped our food out here on the ground? We wouldn't have anything to eat for supper. That wouldn't be very funny, would it?"
Jon: "No....but I bet the cat would think it's funny."

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Me: "Um, Sir? Where exactly are all of your hangers?"
Jon: "I don't know..."
Me: "Are you supposed to take your hangers out of the closet?"
Jon: "No..."
Me: "How am I supposed to hang up your nice clothes if I don't have hangers?"
Jon:"I don't know..."
Me: "Maybe I should just leave them on the floor to get all wrinkly. Maybe you can be the kid who gets his pictures taken with wrinkly clothes."
Jon: "NOOOOOOOO! I don't want to be wrinkled!"
Me: "Don't get mad at me, pal, you're the one who took off with all the hangers. So whose fault is it that your clothes are going to be wrinkly?"
Jon: "Probably yours. You shouldn't buy such fun hangers."