Noodle Boy is a nickname my son had when he was a tiny guy and I started this blog. His nickname changes all the time. (Don't worry, we keep his real name the same.) He is completely awesome. Read on and see for yourself!

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

The Little Slugger's Big Game

Jon started T-ball this week.  Little League will never be the same.

The weather has been total crap this past month, so they only had 2 practices before their first game. But T-ball is all about learning the basics so it wasn't a huge deal that out of the 7 kids on the team only about 2.5 of them knew what was going on at the first game.  Jon was not part of that 2.5.

Our first hang up of the night was with the uniform.

"Come out and let me see how cute you are in your uniform, Buddy!"

"I can't walk in these pants, they're all jacked up behind my knees!"

"Why are they bunched up?"

"Cuz they won't slide over my jeans."

"Why are you wearing your jeans?"

"I thought it was like snow pants."

"No.  Not like snow pants. You don't wear anything under baseball pants." And that statement is what led to our next issue.

"Mom, these pants make my buns itch."  Well, I'm no dummy, I knew what that meant.

"Buddy, are you wearing underwear?"

"No, you said I don't wear anything under baseball pants." I did say that, didn't I?

"Get your underwear back on! You don't wear other pants under your baseball pants.  ALWAYS wear underwear.  Never leave the house without under wear."

"OK, good, because that was REALLY itchy."

I'm really glad we got that figured out before we got to the field, I don't know if I could have let him play knowing he was going commando.

We went to the game early for supper.  Jon has been waiting since the first practice for the concession stand to open, so we had a pregame banquet of hotdogs and goldfish crackers.

Since absolutely nothing escapes this kid he had to point out this sign to his father:

"Look, Dad.  No chewing here.  See?  It says it on that sign.  See the seat belt?  That means you can't do it."

"Dad's not going to chew here. Just eat your hotdog, it's almost time for your game."

"Okay, but first I have to go to the bathroom."

Normally when we go places I just take him into the ladies room with me. But I thought since he's getting bigger, maybe it was time to send him in alone.

"Do you want to go in the boys bathroom by yourself?"

"Yeah, I don't have to poop or anything."  Well thank god for that.

He strolled in and did a pretty quick u-turn and was standing in the doorway giving me the sideways thumb point.

"Uh... Mom?"  I already have bathroom phobias, this was not helping.

"What?! What's in there?  What's wrong in the bathroom?"

And of course I just go waltzing in, totally forgetting that what I was walking into was a public MEN'S RESTROOM.  It was awful.  It smelled.  And of course there were urinals on the walls, and thank the good lord that nobody was standing at any of them.  Jon has never actually dealt with a urinal before, only being privy to the ladies privy for his 5 years and he really had no idea what to do. Also, they were about eye level to him.

"Oh geez, I forgot about those! Let's just go to the girls bathroom, okay?"

"Yeah, that's a good idea..." He was eyeballing the urinals with awe, I was dry heaving.

We survived the bathroom and then it was game time.

The first couple of innings went off without a hitch.  Jon only tried to climb to the top of the dugout a few times and didn't club anybody with a bat, so I was feeling pretty good about the night.  But a couple innings was about all Jon had in him. Then things started falling apart.

First he spotted his brother in the stands and thought he needed to come give him a hug.  Which wouldn't have been quite as bad if his team had been up to bat and he was just hanging out in the dugout.  But he actually left his spot in the outfield to hug it out.  I peeled him off the bleachers and dumped him back at the gate with firm instruction not to leave the field again until the game was over. I got the stink eye for that.

Things got a little better when his team was batting and most of them were in the dugout together acting like 5 year olds.
Here's my little slugger.  That would be the aforementioned Men's Room in the background.

After he "hit it out of the park" (or almost to the pitcher's mound) he started to round the bases, but made a detour back to home plate when he got to 2nd.  I was sure he was asking to go to the bathroom so I started making my way down the bleachers to take him when I discovered that he didn't need to go to the bathroom, he just had a really funny face he wanted to show Coach Travis.  Then back to 2nd he ran.  Other mom's laughed at how cute it was.  I decided we were going to learn our own special baseball signals so he could know I was yelling at him when no one else did.

After the funny face fiasco Jon was about ready to call it a night.  He had a hotdog, he got to use the bat, he made a funny face.  He was good.  But there was still a lot of time left in the game and back out to the outfield they went.  Jon is not very good at "Stopping the ball"  but he's got "Good hustle" I hear, so I think he'll get better with time.  Right now though , it's just mayhem when ever he's in the field.  He will run from his position at third to the fence behind first.  It's like playing fetch with a dog, there's no stopping the chase once that ball is in the air.  By the 5th inning he was pretty cranky that he wasn't ever getting the ball.  It getting to be tackle baseball by the end of the night.

This is a 3-man dog pile on a baseball.  Jon actually laid flat on the ball and the coach had to come get it from him.  Twice.  I'm pretty sure they wore out the phrase "We're all on the same team, guys..."

We have 2 games a week through the end of May.  Jon is pretty sure that Cubby Bear is going to show up at one of them.  And I believe there was mention of giant foam fingers... He's got pretty big ideas about the rest of the season.  I'll be excited if he remembers to wear underwear to all of the games.

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